Problem with neighbor :)

Coffee
1

Hello everyone

I need some advise, to understand how to better handle this situation.
Sorry for the wall-script…

New owner, new building, building made by 12 apartments, 3 on each flor. Generally, everyone respects the very little basic rules. Apart from my neighboor.

He started with leaving theirs shoes outside. At the beginning, to avoid creating already discussion, we didn’t want to stress that further.
Then, after 4 months, he installed a shoe-rack on the wall, next his door (also putting some ornaments, like peluches on top of it…)
Ah, of course, he drilled the wall to install that, and if not enough, he made a third one, which is used to hang the shoehorn.

He installed that without any approval. He just asked myself and the other neighboor living on the same floor, if it was fine: we didn’t say a proper no, but suggesting him that’s not a good idea and rather suggest to simply put the shoes inside the apartment.

Magically, after some weeks… the shoe-rack was installed. We shown our concern, and suggesting that this action wasn’t nice, and asked him to please remove. He didn’t comment. So, later, I contacted the admin asking to intervene.

They sent a letter to all the owners, reminding to follow the rules (where is written, no objects can be left in the common area…this is including shoe-rack and shoes…of course).
Nothing happen.

After months, I dediced to write to the admin, asking to ensure the rules are respected, in line with the cantonal regulalaiton in terms of fire protection etc. etc.
I was then told, the shoe-rack would have been removed soon.

Another month, same situation.
Another email, intimating to please proceed with the removal. This time, it was done. But unfortunately, the 2 screws (for the shoe-rack) and the hook (for the shoehorn) were still hanged on the wall. And…the shoes, magically again on the floor.

I asked the admin to request the person to proceed with the removal of the screws and the restore of the wall and to remove the shoes, but I’m sure this is going to be a neverending story.
I dont want to trip over the shoes (of course, he doesn’t even care to bring them apart, next to the door…no…are in the middle of the corridor…2 adults, 4 pairs of shoes…) and possibly hit the wall where the screws are…

What would you suggest?

Thank you
Capp

2

I guess if the shoes disappear when left out, they would soon stop. :wink:

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3

This is, unfortunately, part of the life of being the owner of an appartment in a building in co-ownership.

If the situation is going to weigh on you (as this one clearly does), it is very important to adopt a clear and unambiguous communication. A ‘no’ should be spelled out as a ‘no’. Understanding neighbors should understand the suggestions that it’s not a good idea but not all will.

Regarding the screws and hook. At this point, it seems to me like a matter of one more iteration with either the neighbor or the admin. If the shoe-rack has been removed following that procedure, getting the screws removed too should be obtainable. It’s possible that you won’t like the way the wall will be restored.

Regarding the shoes, I’d say you have to decide if going into a prolonged fight with your neighbor is worth it to you. This will be more difficult to enforce and you’ll have to weigh which option will have the most impact on you between keeping the fight on with your neighbor and dealing with the shoes in the corridor.

One thing that is in your control is how you react to things: this is obviously weighing on you and not only for security matters, as you’ve underscored the drilling in your message, which isn’t a security matter per se.

Two things I would do:

  1. I would speak to the other owners of the building, especially the one living on the same floor as you, to get their point of view on the situation. This should help you determine if the neighbor is seen as out of bound or if you might be overreacting and are perceived as being a difficult neighbor yourself.

  2. After having made the assessment in 1), I would contact the neighbors who leave their shoes outside, invite them over for coffee/tea/apero and have an open talk about it. The goal is to give chances to turn your relationship around. They might not react positively to that, but they also might.

A new assessment as to how to best move forward from there should be made afterwards.

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4

imho. bang his wife, forget about the shoes.

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5

First world problems…
I suggest you relax, go on vacation and see some other country where not the tiny most detail is regulated

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6

You could invert the problem and get his view.

He’s probably thinking that:

“Great, I have some neighbors, whose greatest issue in life is my shoes on the corridor,
and they can’t even man up to say it, I just get calls from the admin. fuck those guys”

If you keep deferring confrontations, maybe you resolve this one, but for sure, another issue will arise. Just talk to the guy.

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7

After all this, I’d check how they like their shoes being outside of the building doors.

8

They are probably not Swiss? Foreigners aren‘t used to how regulated and clean Switzerland likes to be. You could make them aware of that :smiley:

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I know a few people leaving their shoes outside, I believe they are all Swiss.
If anything, I would say this is rather a Swiss behaviour because in other countries people would be afraid to get their shoes stolen.

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One thing I can say is that both of you bought this place and would live there for long time.

It would be in best interest for both to not escalate too much. Living with upset neighbours is a stress. Every small thing will be difficult to deal with.

So think about if you really care so much about shoes or you just want to prove a point.

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11

I know that some things can become really annoying that they occupy your mind heavily. But be careful to also take an outside view from time to time.

Shoes where you trip over, is annoying, but one pair next to the door is probably not that crazy. And a hole in the wall on the same floor is not really a thing that would concern me, as long as I’m not thr owner of the house.

In any case, talk to him/her, it’s not worth your lifetime to get silently stressed out living next to them.

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12

What you have to understand is that shoes in the staircase is a reliable indicator of low social class and what OP is doing is class-gating his apartment building.

It was never about the shoes, it was always about the class signals having those shoes outside the flat emit.

What we typically do to make this legible to people not aware of this is enforce rules around fire protection and threaten forcible removal if found non-compliant.

@Cappuccino

13

A capable Regie would set an ultimatum after which the wall would be restored by a professional, at his expense, and fire hazards in the staircase discarded.

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omg this thread is getting “philosophical”.

I can see admins with their ban-button ready… :smiley:

Maybe you can ring them and tell that you can remove the screw yourself as a favour. Maybe they don’t have the time for that. Be positive.

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15

I‘m here scratching my head and asking why it could be such a terrible big problem if your neighbor has a shoe rack outside their appartment??

Like I would not even bat an eye, unless it‘s obstructing my way into my own appartment.

Just chill…

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Yeah it sounds a bit exaggerated but I can see someone might find it annoying.
It’s about respect (or respect of the rules).

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17

We have the same issue in our building but the facility management company issued a warning that all items left in common areas will be removed without notice because of the security concern. All the stuff left like kid scooters, prams, shoe racks magically disappeared the day after. It is not your responsibility to send those reminders, that’s why you pay a facility management company…

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18

You have to draw a line. Soon someone will use the outside area as an additional room/garage/whatever.

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The only way I would find it annoying (aside from making it harder to pass) would be if I myself would have wanted to install a shoe rack but didn’t because it was not allowed (or was even forbidden to do so), only for another tenant to do it nonetheless.

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20

So many classy suggestions, from stealing shoes to sexually approach his partner.

Another effective and unconfrontational way to educate your neighbors is a printed, anonymous notice. Some sublime hints of xenophobia or classism are optional.
A transparent cover or laminate it will add to its importance.

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