Maybe you should then switch cantons to Schwyz or Obwalden where it’s already not in place anymore. 
Politically every canton can decide by themselves since it’s not a national tax.
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No it’s the law of the country you are a resident of at the time of the divorce that applies. For instance if you marry in CH and later move to the UK, the UK law would apply and in the absence of a prenup separation of goods which is the default regime in the UK would apply. If both partners live in different countries it’s another story though but I guess this rule of thumb applies to at least 90% of the cases.
I was surprised to hear it, but the lady from the notariat told me what I wrote. Unfortunately she wouldn’t put it in writing in an email, so I am left with the doubt of having misunderstood (some people are reluctant to speak high German in that office, even after I asked them to).
I signed a prenup specifically for that reason since we met here and have different passports with my wife so that in case something goes wrong we have a common base since prenups are recognized in most countries and the notary here in Zurich confirmed what I wrote when we signed the contract.
Where did you get married?
We got married here in CH but got the marriage recognized in our respective countries.
Sounds like we’ve had a very similar experience (unfortunately for us).
To each their own, but a couple for me is indeed more than about convenience or financial stability. This is obviously a very sensitive topic and while I totally envy the utopic state of some of the couples based on the comments, please consider that everything can change independant of your intention: my loving wife of 17y (mother of my 2 kids) got sick, as a complication got menopause at 40, triggering among other things an (understandable) mid life crisis with hormones all over the place.
Result: after 4 years of chemo, hormone therepy and couples therapy, she’s thankfully healthy again but in very short terms, she’s decided that she doesn’t love me any more after 17y of marriage. So without love as a couple, she will indeed get half of everything, I will pay an alimony and it will be amicable to ensure our relationships with our kids and their well being until they are independent themselves. This process is only starting now, so I’ll post any key lessons in the hopes of helping anyone interested.
HOWEVER the main point of my post is that since we were fairy tale love for 13y and considered everything of shared value within the family, she is only now understanding what it requires for her to have the independence she wants. Childcare was easy for me to never take for granted but she is realising now how much she undervalued « everything else » that I did in the primary role to complement hers. To the point of asking if I’d rather simply co-habite/co-parent even though we’d no longer be a couple.
So ensuring the other is « capable of being independant » is not only a financial/FIRE discussion but one for life in general. Had I understood that sooner, we’d probably not be separated as we clearly looked to ourselves « too much as a couple » and not enough as individuals. Ironically, during therapy a main argument for her was that she resents being so dependant on me (which is a total mind f@*k)…so had she and I ensured she was more independent as an individual within our couple sooner, I think it would’ve help save our marriage.
In the end, losing half of my savings, pension, all of it is way less important/painful that losing my wife and eventually 50% of time with my kids…so all my best wishes to those living within a loving couple, I envy you and encourage to not take anything for granted, not get too focussed on the monetary reward but rather have fun learning together. 
Sorry for the lengthy post, I guess it’s as much for me as anyone else.
Ps:Taking time to grow as individuals will complement your couple overall and prepare indirectly for the worst (…all of the above is also true had I died)
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hope I could have done this better earlier “as we clearly looked to ourselves « too much as a couple » and not enough as individuals”
I wish you all the best!
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Thank you for sharing.
Your story definitely help is that as a couple we are 2 humans evolving and even if we love each other at the moment present no one can predict how will we evolve and what we’ll become.
I wish you all the best to your next chapter.
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What a statement! I totally agree.
Thank you for sharing your story, which I hope will somehow still turn out “ok” for the 4 of you. All the best!
I’d be curious to know what those specific points are in your case.
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It’s mostly subjects that I assume a lot of couples naturally designate to one or the other: administrative (bills, abonnements, calls for Rdv whatever…), finances (taxes, banking overall), travel plans/reservations (including passports), organising/doing maintenance / repairs (including gardening), taxiing for sports much more equally (competitive level so also between towns)…nothing dramatic and almost trivial to write/read it here yet it quickly takes away significant leisure time and adds a factor of stress since she’s not comfortable with some subjects or having to earn more on her own to be able to keep our apartment, one she rents for her work, her horse etc etc.
Don’t get me wrong: we’re cohabiting still and will for a while to ensure a smooth adjustment with the kids (and selfishly for me, since Im not looking forward to losing 50% with my kids), so I have a further invested interest to help her adjustment as well even if needing to compensate can make me angry at times….i’m still helping her to realise what/how she needs to learn to do and I’m not going to let anything major lapse since me and/or my kids would be indirectly implicated.
ps. The sentimental one : I take alot of photos and I’ve gladly always done yearly albums/scrapbooks for us…now that I am doing more and more alone with the kids, those albums have less and less of her by consequence)
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from your summary I see just in case of death marriage option could be more beneficial. So the best don’t get marriage, and try that your gf keeps working so she could stay independent being in case of separation.
So in case you don’t get marriage, but you have kids. What happen in case of separation? I guess your savings will be still just your savings (not shared), but what about children alimony? are there in this scenario other compensations (risks) you should face?
So update from my side, learning a lot of stuff I wish I hadn’t needed to, sorry for all the details
- overall, we have a common lawyer which is highly recommended if possible…helps a lot of aspects …already paid an acompte of 1200 chf but it’s saving me way more
- he basically told me that regardless of any contract, if in the end a spouse is « défavorisés » without understanding the implications, the divorce judge can throw out any agreement (he was summarising but like any « insurance » I’m not sure these contracts protect as much as we may hope they do - just saying
- easiest way is hardest to imagine: simply agree on amicable split of resources through négociations which is probably looking way less bad than I had feared
- I keep my 3a, she keeps hers, we split 50:50 my 2ieme (I think this is normal though) …I will even help her set it up (split) in a vested account to invest with finpension since she is independant (her pension will probably end up bigger than mine
)… - last piece is to negotiate keeping my FIRE fund as I pay all the legal fees, will pay all child pensions (like now) and she keeps the apartment which I need to stay co-owner of since she can’t pass the bank requirements
- that being said the person leaving the home needs to also be compensated for a loss of living level and this completes the négociations (including for the pension to pay and for how long, what needs to be repurchased since I’m leaving « everything » in the apartment now)
- these are the biggest negotiating factors for me on multiple levels (I agreed since this is in any case in the interest of my kids as well as way cheaper than both of us renting)…overall goal is to get her financially independent as soon as possible.
The fact that my wife reduced to 70% before kids will is indeed helping me negotiate the real impact the kids had on the subsequent work reduction. overall, my pension will be timed to allow her reasonable time to get back to 75-80% work. However as I mentioned above, even had she started spending like crazy, I couldn’t have forced a marriage contract since it could get thrown out anyway. The lawyer basically told me had that happened, I would’ve just needed to divorce her
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What do you mean by this? I think that debt is still each individuals ”problem” unless you both signed a contract / bought something together. I guess it helps to keep seperate accounts / credit cards and allowances on certain things on a common bank account (e.g. groceries)
I was never married, but once bought property and had joint bank accounts with an ex-. Although the split up was amicable (as well as can be) it was still a huge hassle to untangle everything and even simple things can be emotionally fraught and viewed differently than when you are together.
I think if you could agree how everything should work and be split at the start when you can think logically and without emotions, then this would be a benefit as you just ‘follow the plan’.
Of course, things change in life and so this should also be regularly updated which is not the most romantic thing to do. Then again, I buy life insurance which feels like betting on my own death - it’s not particularly pleasant but needs to be done.
In the end, this mild experience made me want to avoid joint bank accounts and maintain separate finances (though with my current partner I bought a house and have a mortgage together) so things do go south, that’s one less thing to worry about. But with kids and a house together, we’ll be entangled for life anyway.
I think the downside in the other direction is if one person dies, then it might also be a hassle to try to get control/ownership of those assets which otherwise could have just been held in a joint account. On the plus side, I guess you have your own funds to keep things going until the estate is distributed.
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I think it important to stay in work as it can be difficult to re-integrate into the workforce after a long time away. The way we did it was that my partner took maternity leave and some unpaid leave then went back to work while I took leave and then went back to work. This covered childcare until they were over 1 year of age when they were then ready to go into day care and get integrated and learn the local language.
When in Kindergarten, they are anyway going to be gone for half the day so both parents can work 70% and still cover the time when kids are not in KG. Though being non-native speakers, we chose to leave the kids in for 3 days a week to learn the language and socialize.
In a couple of years when they start school, we’ll take them out completely and I will probably retire to look after them (or we split it and each do reduced time working).
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Formal debt is shared even after divorce (ie if you sign a mortgage together and it’s still open after the divorce/not formally renegotiate like in my case), however you are right about common spending debt. My point was more if I can’t save anything since she’s spending like crazy and I have to cover all the bills for car, house, whatever. Even if the debt is hers the spending would still impact me a lot and if she spends all her money, you definitely need to have separate accounts
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Hi, not sure if this is the correct thread to post this question but here we go.
My wife and I are considering a divorce (mutual consent) here in Switzerland. We have no children and wish to continue in our relationship. Primary goal of divorce is to overcome the heavy taxation from our joint income and to ensure full AHV pension when it comes to retirement. Has anyone done this? I am concerned about whether we would be able to continue living together in same apartment after the divorce? I can see on some information that courts require you to detail who will remain in matronal home after divorce.
In case you’re not aware, there will be a vote about this
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You should look forward to the upcoming discussions and votes on the taxation of married people in Switzerland. The current consensus is to put an end to this unequal treatment in terms of both taxation and AHV pensions. On the first point, it will probably be at least 10 years before the new taxation comes into effect, to give the cantons time to adapt to this new situation.
Concerning the divorce by joint request. When submitting the comprehensive agreement, the court will hear the spouses both separately and together (art. 111 §1 CC). If the court is persuaded that desire for divorce and the agreement are the product of free will and careful reflection and that the agreement may be approved, the court shall issue the divorce decree (art. 111 §2 CC).
The fact that you are living in the same apartment now won’t be an issue because the court is not concerned about the organization of the separated spouses. I have had clients who literally lived 50 meters from each other (the apartment next door) during their “amicable divorce”.
The unique issue that could occur is about the 2nd pilar. in fact, in the event of divorce, any occupational pension assets accrued during the marriage up to the point at which divorce proceedings commence are divided equitably (art. 122 CC). However, by mutual consent, the spouse can waive the splitting if the pension is not drastically unequal (i.e. 400,000 for the man vs. 40,000 for the woman). If not, the splitting of the 2nd pillar should not be a problem.
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