[Poll] Top 5 Regrets

Coffee
1

Which ones trigger you, if any? (in a preventive way)

1000005603
10000056031163×1459 296 KB

  • #1
  • #2
  • #3
  • #4
  • #5
  • Other
0 voters
1 Like
2
  1. That just means you know some other life would be better for you, but you’re too afraid to try. But that doesn’t apply to me. I wish I knew what were the steps to live a better life.
  2. Does not apply to me.
  3. I wish I could express my feelings more clearly and understand other people’s feelings. I wish my autistic ass could sometimes read the room better.
  4. On the face of it, yes, but I feel like you outgrow some friendships. Or it’s them who haven’t kept touch with you. I wish I knew how to meet new friends that I will enjoy spending time with. I met a few people from this forum, but idk, somehow both of you being interested in saving money doesn’t translate to easily vibing with someone.
  5. What’s done, is done. If I haven’t allowed myself a moment of decadence, it was always with future me in mind. So I should rather be thankful to my past self for being so ascetic.
3

I‘m working towards FIRE basically to prevent all of these, but especially 4.

I just don‘t have the time currently to reach out to all the people I would want to reach out.

1 Like
4

Hey. I need more than 1 vote!

I don’t work too hard and happy to be grumpy. But the other ones, yes.

5

#1 what’s courage? Physical? No issues there. Emotional? Then it goes to #3

#2 no issues there as long as there’s some enjoyment at work, when in academia I used to stay in the lab until late in the night because I liked being there

#3 regretting so many missed opportunities for sex because of “what will XYZ say”, like XYZ would be there between the bedsheets, or club toilets


#4 keeping friendships over decades is one of my biggest successes, so no problems there

#5 classic for me, “I’ll be happy when
” and when the “when” shows up it’s either a let down, I’ve moved on, or both.

1 Like
7

The good, the bad and the ugly had a few nice ones. None of yours applies to me


(I would have done much more bad things if I would have known that I don’t have much more time


4 Likes
8

If I died today, I seem to would have none of the “Top 5 regrets”.
I’ll drink to that tonight!

4 Likes
9

Edith Piaf - Non, je ne regrette rien - (original)

5 Likes
10

Not so many but still a good handful

11

Not anything
?
For me, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKRmo30J7vU&t=46s

12

I love the part « mĂȘme si je n’aurais pas du vendre mon alphabet »

1 Like
13

Well don’t think that many, but a good 10 which were dead certain. Doesn’t really matter now anyway!

14

Ok, ok. Maybe 
 I regret that 
 I haven’t spent enough time on this forum? :wink:

More seriously, it’s probably an eye-of-the-beholder thing. The question should IMO be rephrased as “With the benefit of hindsight, what would you have done differently?”

Were there turns in my life when, with the benefit of hindsight, I could have made better choices?
Probably.

Were there turns in my life, when, with all my collected knowledge at the point of time, I deliberately or even just ignorantly made the wrong choice (judged at the point in time when I made that choice)?
No, certainly not deliberately. Perhaps ignorantly did I make wrong choices (see below).

The question thus – to me – boils down to “did I consciously make choices in my life that I regret now, even from the perspective of my collective knowledge at the point in time I should have known better?”.

The answer remains to be a somewhat arrogant “not really anything”. But obviously it is everything, given the benefit of hindsight.

Since I am actually human: are there things I would have done different with the benefit of hindsight? A million things. Dozens of life changing things, too. Three different Goofy samples:

  • [decades ago] at age mid twenties I was about a hair removed from becoming an accidental young parent that actually did not (yet) want to be a parent.
    I was once engaged to someone who I mutually agreed with to not – or at least not yet – have any children with. The person decided single-handedly to drop measures that prevented her from becoming pregnant without letting me know. I found out by accident.
    My life would be seriously very different if I had become a parent at the time, with her, and yes, in hindsight, I would eff-ing be a lot more suspicious and distrustful, which in turn in itself would have been a very wrong move for my next relationship which is my life relationship that I hope will last forever.
  • at teenage age for my son I was torn between pushing him to go for Gymnasium and just letting him pursue what seemed right for him at the time (regular 9 year curriculum and an apprenticeship).
    He could have pursued the gymnasium path, but it was somehow clear at the time that this wasn’t his favorite path. At the same time, it wasn’t entirely clear what vocational path was suitable, which is totally understandable to me, given the age at which you have to make a choice.
    There’s no real “regret” I have at this point in time, just a 
 somewhat anxious feeling that I wish I could have advised my son better in making his education choice at the time and now.
  • Three? Did I say “three”? I misspoke. Translation: I don’t have another “juicy” 3rd case, but there are probably plenty of cases where – with the benefit of hindsight – I would have made a different choice.

On Sinatra’s “I did it my way” 
 I don’t not like it, but I like Piaf’s “No, I don’t regret anything” better.

YMMV.

3 Likes
15

I think an important factor in our relationship to regrets is also how anchored in the present we are. Seeing the present and the future as an ever evolving opportunity, the focus is always the current or next thing even though I can’t make right the wrongs of the past. We’re on a way, there’s always a step forward.

I suspect that on top of our personal disposition and upbringing, the stage of our life also plays a significant part in us arboring regrets or not and in the magnitude of them. The older we are, the less of our life is ahead of us and the more of it is behind, that probably increases the likelihood of regrets.

Personally, I just tend to have my head too deep underwater to have time for regrets (this is also due to my attitude, so there’s work on myself to be done). When you’re simply focusing on winning your current fight, or finding a way to redeploy and fight another day, there’s also less room for regrets.

3 Likes
16

I would have behaved even more stupid from GölÀ. What a philosopher.

:partying_face:

1 Like
17

Let me guess:

Starts with A ends with Z.

Ok I’ll stop the torture for now, you may regret having written the story too, you have a bit of a responsibility here though.

FWIW I’ve done a lot worse and you’re doing well.

1 Like
18

Arnie, who’s a ton more than a meathead who pumps iron, said “I keep too busy to have problems”. I think that’s wise!

1 Like