Been there, done that. The city is nice from what I’ve seen in those 72h I’ve been there.
Such a nice topic.
I’m about 40 with a partner and two kids. I’ve been paying everything and my partner stayed at home with the kids till before two years. Now she found a job that she loves. It does not pay much (working 50%, earning about 20% of what I’m earning)
Since we she got pregnant (14 years ago) we moved together and have only one joined bank account which we can use both. She is quite on board with budgeting and knowing what’s going one with finances but I’m doing most of the work and proposing what we should do. She is also probably more frugal than I am…
So we are quite on the same page when it comes to finances and our joined live. But what I find challenging is to make a joined long term plan that works for both. If we want to reach a joined FIRE and retire in Switzerland we probably need another 20 years… (Which is almost pension age…). But I can’t imagine only for the one to retire. One could argue that I could retire since I had the income that allowed saving and also implemented all the concept, but despite the unfairness of the argument, what to do with my time if she is still working? We wouldn’t be able to do much together. We could retire in a much cheaper country in Europe in about 5 years. But she likes Switzerland and her job and would not like to move…
How do you manage to get on the same page with your partners for long term planning?
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My 2 cents : sit with your partner and ask her why exactly she’d like to stay in Switzerland and keep her job. Try to understand her rationale behind it (her needs and her wants). Think about alternatives to her needs and wants in your scenario, for example how she could do her current job in another country.
Maybe she wants to stay in Switzerland because of security : find safe countries to live in. Or maybe because she wants to be close to your kids : suggest a close country or a place with a quick direct flight. Your kids might not study or work where you currently live. Etc
And I would not focus too much on convincing her right now about your plans in 5 years : you might both change opinion in the meantime. Just keep saving, investing and fine tuning your plans, and the time will come
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