Well, it appears that this Mustachian is going to become a father! I’m thrilled — and of course, my mind quickly turns to the practical and financial elements
We live together, unmarried (for tax reasons), and have filed separate tax returns up until now. It seems that continuing this arrangement may still be the most advantageous. When I plug a child into my GeTax software, it looks like my tax liability drops from CHF 54k to CHF 39k. Does that seem accurate? I’m assuming only one of us can claim the tax deduction. My partner seems to get a similar tax deduction in GeTax, but I’m guessing we can’t both claim full financial responsibility. Strangely, when I simulate married with one child we don’t get nearly the same reduction. It seems better to be a single parent
What other Mustachian best practices would you recommend for parents-to-be? I’m already looking at buying strollers and other baby gear second-hand — that seems like a no-brainer. I guess the next big topic will be childcare.
Luckily I get 6 weeks paid paternity, which I can spread out over a year. Any advice on when is the best moment to take it? I’m guessing 3 weeks after birth, and maybe 3 weeks when the mother needs to return to work whilst we transition to childcare.
Congratulations! Becoming a father changes everything.
If there’s stuff you love doing, do it now. If you love to eat out at restaurants, then do it now as later it will cost babysitter time + meal time (we have no family to help - if you do that helps a lot)! Plus you may be too exhausted to want to do stuff.
So go on holiday, eat, enjoy. Spend your money.
With that out of the way:
Taxes, look at this carefully and model it out, it can have big differences. I’m not in Geneva so don’t know that system.
If one of you has lower salary or is short on their AHV contribution, you can look to transfer the AHV credit ( Erziehungsgutschrift) to this partner (I already met my contribution so gave it all to my partner) or split it depending on what optimizes for you.
Yes, absolutely buy everything second hand, esp. the clothes. When the baby is a few months old, we had cases where they wore clothing just once before they outgrew it. My sister spent $1000 on a buggy. We bought one for $50 second hand.
There is a baby-industrial-complex just waiting to suck money out of you to buy stuff you don’t need
That said, know your lifestyle. If you travel by car a lot, then a buggy that can quickly latch into a car is a time-saver (though we managed without). We went often to the forest, so our $50 4x4 SUV of a buggy was perfect for us. A flashy and expensive city stroller with tiny wheels would not have worked for us, but if you are in the city a lot, then a smaller easy to pack stroller might be more important.
Get sleep now and enjoy it!
Re: paternity leave, I did my block after maternity leave to extend the period until we had to put our child into daycare (minimize overlapping leave). I think I took some right after birth but most of it after maternity leave. This is also good because if you do it after baby has stopped breast-feeding, you can bottle-feed.
Do everything now before baby comes. Buying buggy, clothes, etc. Anything that needs doing should be done now before baby comes e.g. if you have jobs around the house or projects to do. Everything becomes more difficult afterwards.
I had 6 weeks as well and I took 2 after birth to support my wife and the rest I spread over two years (together with accumulated unused vacation days) to basicslly work 80% but earn a 100%. This one daddy day a week was extremly precious and helped me create a stronger bond to my daughter.
I cannot offer much in terms of financial suggestions other than seconding the point about baby stuff being moronically overpriced and absolutely not worth it - get as much second hand as possible, expect to need new sets of clothes every couple of months or so. The things I didn’t skimp on were food, shoes (not a concern until ~1.5 years from now), diapers and car seats, all the rest is supplementary but going for quality there is important.
Other than that, what worked for us was the suggestion of our paediatrician: “the baby should add to your life, not change it”. Plus with babies you ask two people one question and get three opinions, including doctors. It’s critical to find one you trust.
The reason for this is probably the tax rate, not even the deductions. A married couple sums their earnings and assets but these are taxed at a different rate than singles (lower obviously), although if both spouses are working it’s normally still a bad deal.
But the tax rate is not “married” it’s actually “married or single parent”. One of the unmarried parents (the highest earner usually I think) will get this tax rate applied - so you are kinda getting the best of two worlds, you will get a lower tax rate applied without having to put the income of your spouse on top into the marginal tax rate bucket.
This means that your cost of getting married (taxes after married compared to current taxes) also is about to increase even further
The deductions also help, but I think in some situations you are actually forced to split them between the parents.
Congratulations!
Everything said already but if not don’t forget the prenatal health insurance (meaning really before birth, very important!).
Dad of a premature baby I know what it costs…
Plenty of wisdom in this thread so I will not add any more besides one point which may be considered odd.
If you and/or your partner have renounced your christian religious beliefs for financial/tax reasons, then make sure that you do this for the baby as well (if you want to).
In our case, I am non-catholic and my partner had already renounced her religion for tax reasons. For some reason, BS assumed that the child was catholic and charged us 330 CHF per year for the first 3 years of her life, until we discovered this by accident (we got a letter from the catholic church regarding some stuff for her)..
Even after correcting this, we were not refunded the 660 CHF charged for the first 2 years. I will keep my thoughts on this to myself.
One thing I can absolutely recommend is to get your fitness in shape now, especially your lower back. Carrying a baby/toddler via the ErgoBaby is quite strenuous.
My wife extended the maternity leave for a few months and then went back at a way lower rate as she doesn’t want to bring the kid to a KiTa for various reasons. I went back to 100% for the moment and that works quite fine so far.
Here is my advice: If you choose not to get married discuss with your partner well in advance what to do if she ends up in hospital with complications and make sure to fill in the paperwork! What if she ends up seriously ill after birth and baby ends up in neonatal care? Will you be allowed to see and take care/make decisions for the baby if you are not married?
On a lighter note: Be prepared to overthrow decisions once the baby is here. For this I suggest a budget of CHF 500-1000 to use after birth for anything you forgot or did not think of but which would make your life significantly easier. For us this was a bike trailer and electric milk pump…Trust me this money was well invested and it eased my mustachian mind that we had already bidgeted for this. A parent’s mind right after birth is not always rational… I recommend trying out some high-end prams and then buying second hand. You will absolutely have to buy a different stroller later and will not need the pram stroller option that much. Investing in a unisex carrying cloth might be interesting. Please sign up for any private health insurance for the baby now, as quickly as possible because baby might come early.
Do make sure to register for pediatrician and childcare as soon as possible. Childcare can be expensive. In my opinion expensive daycare is worth the costs though, as trained professionals take care of your child and that does make a difference.
It is easy to find second hand items for babies on tutti or in Kinderkleiderbörsen, which usually take place in spring and fall in various villages. Second-hand baby furniture is way less expensive and usually in excellent shape. Only take a second-hand car seat or helmet from someone you know and trust. That said, let any parents you know know that you are looking for second-hand items. They might be more than willing to gift or lend you lots of things: bathtubs, pottys, car seats, pyjamas, cloth diapers… Second hand cloth diapers save you lots of money but they are a lot of work, too. Beware of parents that ask you if you like something and then expect you to buy it from them at a horrendous price. I always ask at the beginning, what they are expecting for it. Baby swimming and baby massages are a rip off in my opinion. If you need an electric milk pump, health insurance covers the costs for buying one if you have a doctors note. The hospital will refuse because they want you to lend their own expensive (and not so comfortable) gear. Talk to the gynacologist in advance as you might need this shortly after birth when leaving the hospital. Do NOT sign a hospital lease and in my opinion Avent is better than Medela.
Hospital photos by their photographer can be worth it or a rip off. I chose against them because they were not clear about their prices in advance but only showed them during their personal visit and would not let me call my husband to discuss or leave me to think about it first. That definitely did not inspire confidence. I would invest in good quality Rückbildung though. A trained professional will really give good tips and meeting other moms and socializing might also be extremely important. This might depend how much family and friends you have living close to you. The birth preparation course at the hospital (6 evenings for moms and 2 evwnings for both parents) was definitely woth its money.
I will second that after 3 months pregnancy get the letter from the hospital or clinic she is followed and register asap to public daycare.
Depending where you live in Geneva, it could be BIPE.
You will be able to deduct another 22k chf from net pay easy. It could be equivalent up to 9kchf tax deduction.
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