Best way to manage shared finances when moving in together but not married?

Coffee
1

I’m moving in with my girlfriend, and while we aren’t planning to marry for the next few years or until we consider having kids, we’re discussing how to best manage a shared bank account. We’ve been together for eight years, and both happen to be students again at the moment. The rent for our new apartment is around 2500, which we plan to split equally.

One of the issues that’s come up is that she would prefer not to manage expenses from her personal account alongside a shared household account. One idea we had was to open a joint account, or for her to send her income to me so I can manage all payments. However, from a tax perspective, this could technically show up as income or assets on my side, which might be challenging to explain, especially after she is done being a student and pay increases.

For now, our main concern is planning for the future when we’re both working full-time again, where there might be a surplus. Ideally, we don’t want to keep splitting everything exactly in half — I’d like to cover things like vacations, dining out, and other joint expenses without worrying about who contributes what.

What would be the best approach in this situation if we aren’t married? We’ve thought about setting up a joint household account and both contributing, for instance, 1500 each. She could pay her own bills, but this still feels a bit tedious. Her preference would actually be to transfer her money to me and not worry about managing it further, but that seems more complicated than we expected. Any suggestions?

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On my side, I pay all the fix recurring expenses of our flat.
I asked her to contribute a fix amount monthly.
I don’t think tax officers will bother if you can prove you lived together under the same roof.

We setup a join Cembra Certo One credit cards for all common expenses (groceries, travel …). You can order an extra one for your partner.
We contribute 50/50 to the monthly invoice link to the cards.
We alternate the payment with a Tricount so it balanced over the year.

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So basically would you say that if she sends me her money and we pay with my card ebery expense even though just as an example if i earn 100k and my savings next year are 100k, which came because she sends me money they will not bother how i save the same amount as i earn? Would that not be considered a „gift“ somehow and needs to be taxed?

I don‘t see a shared credit card as the option because this would have the same effect as having just a joint account where we contribute the same amount. But she does not want to „split“ her expenses and „our“ expenses, which i also do not want to. I don‘t mind if i pay more when for example her salary is not enough in one specific month because she has to pay student loans etc.

My main concern is the tax officer and that when tomorrow, she‘s not a student anymore and we are not married, that they would say it‘s a gift and declare it somehow and pay taxes etc.

And of course i would pay a little more wealth tax, right? But i assume thats risk acceptance in this scenarioxto make the lifestyle easier?

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My girlfriend and I moved in together in 2019. At first, she paid me a fixed amount for rent and her mobile subscription, which was in my name, to combine discounts. But I thought this was a lousy system and would have preferred a joint account. I then took care of paying the rest (food, internet, electricity, etc.) as I had a salary and she was studying. Later, in 2021, when we both had jobs, we opened a joint account where our salaries were paid and we pooled everything together no matter who earned more. We had two other neon accounts for personal expenses (gifts and travel). For me, it’s the best system.

Finally, in 2023, we moved to a new canton with two new jobs and kept this system. Our salaries are paid into the joint account. My salary is her salary, and vice versa. She’s been earning more than me since January 2023. Next year, I’ll have a higher income. This account is used for our personal and joint expenses, but also for paying out our investments (3a, stock market, crypto).

We still have two Neon accounts just for travel and gifts. I work on the principle that what’s mine and was mine is also hers, so it’s the same the other way round.

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Thanks for your feedback. I like this. It seems you never had any issue with taxes, right? When you now declare income you just do for example joint account divided by 2? When your money is hers and vice versa, why having the neon account for travel? Gift is understandable.

I think i will do it in a similar way like you did. Paying the money in my account or a new joint account where our salary goes.

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There is no best way. Just the way that works best for you.

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Just keep life simple. You are already together for long time. Most likely you have idea of your monthly expenses

Let’s say your total monthly expenses are 5000 CHF, then one person pays the rent (which is 2500) and other person pays the rest and that’s it.

If it’s 4000 CHF, then one person pays 2000 CHF in rent and other person pays 500 CHF for rent and everything else

If total expenses are 6000 CHF, then one person pays the rent and some other recurring expenses and other one just take care of everything else

If above doesn’t work. I think joint account might be a better option because it that case no one needs to worry about where the expense is made. Only thing that matters is how much contribution was made

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As said by others, it depends how your view your partnership. If you want to unify all accounts with even personal spending it’s your choice.

I prefer to keep personal spending separate on another bank account or card.
It makes it easier to understand what is for us and what is for myself.
If one day you split or a divorce happened, it will make things a bit smoother.

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Wouldn’t you declare half of your account as debt to your partner. And your partner would declare it as a loan.

Btw to me it seems like your partner doesn’t want anything to do with budget/personal finance. IMO it’s a pretty important skills to practice/learn about, esp as you enter active life and will have to manage savings vs spending all your income.

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I use it as a credit card for my expenses outside Switzerland (like a Revolut), because the exchange rate with foreign currencies is excellent in my opinion (it seems that Revolut is better if you convert a sum of money in advance), but I prefer not to worry about that and simply deposit a XXX amount of Swiss francs which is then automatically converted when I make purchases abroad.

I’ve never had any problems with the tax authorities in my cantons. According to the software, all you have to do is download the tax statement and specify that it’s a joint account, and the software splits the sum in two (not all of them, sometime you have to do it manualy).

What matters to the tax authorities is the total amount of money on 31.12. The rest of the year, whether you receive money from X or Y, is of no importance (unless you inherit, or make a generous donation). In any case, the tax authorities make a wealth comparison between year N and year N+1. If they see something odd, they will contact you for clarification (e.g. your assets have increased by CHF 100,000 due to an inheritance, but you failed to mention this because you used the money to buy a property).

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IMO the main thing is that you are open about money and both feel like the situation is fair and makes sense, and that as things evolve in the future you continue to update things so that it remains fair. Exactly how you do this with joint/shared accounts is an implementation detail.

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