Honestly, that’s how I’ve been viewing the matter. I think, even in my 40s/50s I can still become a father, and then I am probably already FIREd and I will anyway need to find something to do. Of course, there is the matter of my gf, who I care for a lot, and I don’t want to cause any stress for her. But more and more, I feel about her like a family member than a romantic partner. Ugh, it is really hard to think about…
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you will not believe but I wanted to share the same chart 
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so what? I do not really care about my own gene pool at all, that is selfish thinking again.
Be remembered for making peoples lifes better, not by passing on your genes.
Post written by physician.
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Try this algorithm:
while (!isFIRE(*this)){
sleep(1000);
}
HaveKids(rand()%5+1);
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The World won’t notice if you decide not to have a kid. It won’t make a sizeable difference. What might make a difference is raising children and passing on your wisdom onto them. Let them become scientists, let them fight for climate long after you’ve passed away. Someone needs to have kids in order for our species to survive, so do you think it’s better if the children that inherit this World are the ones of the people who didn’t think like you?
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This is really an issue. Intelligent people usually have less or no kids at all. The best part of our society isn’t really reproducing. Maybe that’s why humanity seems to be more stupid than a couple of decades ago. I mean look at the USA. 50 years ago it was the nation that sent people to the moon. Everybody embraced the technological advances. Now nearly half of their population think that the Earth is 7000 years old. There are even millions of people that believe the earth is flat, lol.
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Don’t believe that. The biggest difference is that now you know more americans…or better said, there are more people sharing their own views and it’s easier to see how many stupid people exists. I don’t believe that is the best metric to see how stupid are becoming.
You might instead see where the best mind are working or what is considered valuable. For example the biggest company in the world right now aren’t really moving forward the mankind, if not by mistake. Some were doing it, some never did it. This is still not the best metric because we need to define what “best part of our society” means and what’s the goal.
Anyway a bit out of topic, sorry.
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To return to the initial topic: are there any members here that don’t plan on having kids? If so, what are the reasons?
I did not plan to have children, but my husband really wanted one and as the circumstances were right and I was not completely opposed I got pregnant and have now a 1.5 year old toddler. Interestingly I enjoy her much more now than my husband, but it took some months as I suffered very strongly from PPD and she was a baby that screamed a lot (record was 10 hours without interruption).
But now each day she gets more fun as she has learnt to walk and is now learning to talk. Even though everyone always told me that it doesn’t get better only different, I cannot agree with this. It definitively got a lot better and I assume it will still get better.
Financially she doesn’t cost too much as we have cheap daycare here and the other items are negligible. Emotionally she has cost me my sanity for a long long time.
But I don’t think that you have to have children. If you don’t want to that is completely fine and you still have lots of time.
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That’s something that drives me crazy. Sitting in a plane in front of a screaming baby for 2 hours ruins my whole day. How can you endure something like that everday for 4+ hours for months?
You can’t. It took me almost a year to recover from it. But it seems like there are babies that do not scream that much. I have at least seen lots of babies in the supermarket while she was younger and screaming while we tried to grocery shop who just laid in their car seats. I was (and am still) very jealous. I have not left the house for months if it was not absolutely necessary (good training for now I suppose).
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Did it make you happier? Did it give you more purpose in life? Changed your perspective?
I am happier now because I have changed the style of contraception. This made a huge impact. It is more like what has changed is that I try to live like I want the world for my child. Having fun with her. And that I can teach her things. I really hope I can teach her a lot, as I enjoy that very much. And she is so eager to learn so this makes me happier. But it is difficult to use words to describe the whole thing.
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Yes, kids will take a lot of your freedom and simple joys of life. Kids nevertheless solve the basic problem of your existential anxiety - they answer the question of what’s the point of your life. Your kids become the whole point. It’s such a strong feeling organizing psyche it’s very difficult to explain this to someone child-less. It’s like, take how much you love your most beloved person and multiple this times 100. They become the center of your universe. Everything else is losing lots of meaning and value once you have kids.
Is it worth it? To every parent this question is absurd. It’s like asking: is it worth having parents or partner that you love and have a good relationship with? Or is it worth to have good health?
For somebody who doesn’t have kids, it might make no sense. Try to explain to an emotion-less alien what’s the point of keeping old parents alive - they’re just a cost and burden, they’re not contributing to your financial freedom and they’re not fun anymore.
And with kids it’s actually not that grim - there’re sacrifices to be made, but there’s also lots of fun and simple pleasures that kids bring to your life. It’s not only a transcendental level of love, happiness, and satisfaction - there’re also simple perks.
But in the end, it’s not something that you can rationally calculate to make such a decision - you need to feel it. If you don’t feel like you want to be an awesome dad and husband, better don’t have kids and a spouse. If you decide to be a dad or husband, be a great one.
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I seriously doubt that all parents feel like that about their children. Maybe that’s how you feel, and that’s great for your kids. When I grew up, I was most of the time with my grandparents, and they spoiled me, while my parents were always a source of fear. Mom goes to school, finds out that I have some bad grades or some behaviour problems. Dad gets mad whenever I do something stupid. In a way this never changed. Parents were always demanding and never quite satisfied with my achievements. I guess maybe that’s why I grew up to be so crazy about FIRE? 
“Look parents, I have money, now you can relax”
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I think that is exactly his point. The number of children per woman is directly correlated to their living conditions, one could even say to the average income of the country. This is documented in this very book, Factfulness, that I think everyone should read.
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I think these experiences are mostly related to the period in time & society in which one is grown. Thins are different now in comparison with how they were in the seventies and eighties and will be different in the future. Our parents behavior towards us (and our behavior towards our kids) reflects this, imo
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Sounds familiar. And all that arguing & pettiness etc.
You know in a very weird kind of way, I feel one of the “aims” about having children is to show you can do it better than your parents did. And, well, it ends up a tougher job and effort than one imagines in many ways.
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In Central Europe I would say “yes definitely”. “Safety in numbers” I reckon. I think we are intelligent enough to accept others as they are / wanna be.
As a 40-no-kids-single I never felt judged as failed (or didn’t notice it) here in CH.
In China, Japan and Thailand I got surprised sad “sympathetic” looks & strange comments, I think that was a judging as failed. Also Southern Europe would probably judge, family is just so much more important there.
There was one time in CH that it felt weird, I was doing a management/development course & the instructor said, “well you know if you are 40-50 and have no family & interested in a CEO job, forget it, such functions need the “perfect picture”, married, 2 children bla bla. The only thing that is not a must any more is a military career.”
I have absolutely no interest or talent for CEO so no prob, but I still wonder if KMU’s do really look at that. I think probably yes, so back to your question, “yes definitely, except in some seldom situations.”
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