Padawan, you are on the path to the dark side of over-diversifying. The remark on Whiskey was more a satirical one - diversification doesn’t work this way.
We need to remember that the Efficient Market Hypothesis aplies. UNLESS we can add alpha or move our investments outside of the Global Investable Universe, all this crazy diversification doesn’t add any value at all. In the contrary, such alternatives generally cost more (whether explicit or implicit) and therefore reduce overall return.
To underpin my point - please have a look at the below post. There, I essentially took a completely crazy approach to diversification - and then concluded that the resulting performance was can be explained with a combination of i) stocks, ii) bonds, iii) money market, iv) luck based, temporary over/underperformance and in some cases v) temporarily smoothened return reporting:
Picking up pennies in front of the steam roller - Investing / Portfolios - Mustachian Post Community
PV Backtest: Backtest Portfolio Asset Allocation (portfoliovisualizer.com)